


The Prince and Everything But the Kitchen Sink

by weepingnaiad



Category: Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Aristocracy, Community: trope_bingo, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, M/M, Reunions, Trope Bingo Round 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 20:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time there was a prince of an island kingdom that was of age and had to marry to ascend to the throne, but none of the suitors, neither prince nor princess, made his heart leap.  There was only one man who did that and <i>he</i> was no royal.  Prince Jim hoped for a miracle but knew there would be none to allow him to marry the healer that had stolen his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prince and Everything But the Kitchen Sink

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** As ever abigail89, my brain twin, and soul sister, wrangled my words into something readable and coherent, despite the heavy prose. I will never be able to convey my gratitude, bb. But, of course, I fiddle even after posting, so any mistakes are all on me. I also have to give credit where it's due. This fic would never have been finished and posted if it was not for hitlikehammers. She has cajoled and pushed and been a wonderfully supportive sounding board. Not to mention all of the alpha reading she's provided. Seriously, both of you are the wind beneath my wings. (It's cheesy, I know. But I adore you both!)  
>  **A/N:** This is my space_wrapped story and fills my trope bingo _reunion_ square.  
>  **A/N2:** I was inspired by pictures of Chris Pine filming _Into the Woods_ and blatantly stole most of the fairytale from _The Princess and the Pea_ with a big nod to _Once Upon a Mattress._  
>  **Disclaimer:** These are Paramount and Roddenberry's characters used in the spirit of creative commons. I promise to return them with smiles on.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/weepingnaiad/13002721/146435/146435_original.png)

Jim sat on his favorite spot, high above San Francisco, surveying the sky, sea, and land. The harbor shone in the morning sun, its deep aqua sparkling beneath the wheeling gulls and cormorants, the hive of activity orderly and giving no hint of the chaos bearing down on them from the far horizon. There, the sky was not blue and clear. Instead it was a roiling gray and growing darker, the flashes of lightning revealing a storm of massive proportions. San Francisco and its harbor were sheltered by the very cliffs Jim was perched upon. But Jim worried that this storm was of a size to overwhelm the cliffs and threaten the inhabitants of the capital city with its sparkling castle and glistening bay.

Because Ohlonia was a sea-faring, island country, all of its inhabitants were well-versed in the fickle nature of the sea. She was a harsh mistress whose bounty sometimes came at great cost. After Sam, the former crown prince, was lost at sea during a freak storm, upon advice given her by her admiral, the queen had instituted a watch for the mercurial sea storms. Their methods were not perfect, but the watch had saved lives in the intervening three years.

And Jim was doing his part. In truth, he'd volunteered for the duty. If he could not be shipboard, then he'd rather be up in the hills or conducting interviews of all the returning ships than sitting in council meetings. He really did not understand how his mother could believe that he was ready to take the throne. But he knew, in his heart, that it was time. And soon enough the Council would force the issue. After all, they had never been happy to have an 'outsider' acting as Regent in her late husband's place. But Winona had shown them, time and time again how truly capable and strong she was. She was no pushover and was never the automatic rubber stamp the council had hoped she'd be.

But soon enough Jim would have to fight those battles. It'd be his place to ensure his people were safe and flourished. He had no wish to do so. Not now. Possibly not ever. The throne came with more than responsibility. It carried with it duty and a requirement to marry, but not as he chose, not as he'd planned. No. James T. Kirk, second son of George Samuel Tiberius Kirk and Winona Goodwin Morrison, had never wanted to rule. He was the second son, the 'spare'. He'd trained for battle. His place was aboard the flagship, earning his stripes under Admiral Pike, not sitting in council meetings and presiding over public hearings.

"You're brooding, laddie," Scotty scuffled his boots and sprawled at Jim's side.

Jim huffed out a soft laugh. "Far from it. I'm sitting stormwatch today so the men can batten down the hatches." He pointed at the notebook on the ground beside his leg. He'd recorded the size, strength, and direction of the storm; was adding measurements to the data they had already compiled.

"Storm spotter might be the stated purpose for your presence here on these particular rocks, but you are fooling no one with the cover, Highness," Spock said, cresting the rise and joining them. But, of course, Spock did not sit. He stood upright and formal, legs shoulder-width apart, precise and controlled.

Jim rolled his eyes and shook his head. Spock was pristine even after the steep climb; a study in contrasts to Scotty who was in scuffed boots and ragged woolen kilt while Jim himself was little better in rough laborer's garb. "It's Jim, Spock. Remember? Please call me Jim."

"You should give it up as a lost cause, Jim. How many years have you been trying to get him to call you by your given name?" Sulu asked, the final member of their quartet finally arriving.

"I wondered where you were, Hikaru. What's the matter? Your sea legs can't handle the climb?" Jim teased.

"Race me down and we'll see who can't handle what," Sulu replied, settling in beside Scotty.

Jim patted the ground, but didn't bother looking up at Spock. "Spock, join us. I do not need a safety detail here and now. Look around. There's nowhere for anyone to hide." Jim waved his arm wide, encompassing the rocky outcropping he was sitting on. "There's only one approach. We'll be fine if you let your hair down for a few minutes."

Scotty and Sulu both snorted. Spock wore his hair short in a severe cut in the style of his father's people and hadn't ever acceded to the local custom of wearing long hair tied back at the nape by a ribbon.

Scotty elbowed Jim and pointed down to the mouth of the harbor where a large vessel with two masts and golden sails was gliding into a berth. Jim groaned. "Great. Another one." He buried his face in his hands. "How many is that now?"

"Five, Highness. Three princesses and two princes from nearby. I believe the ship arriving now carries the Marcus heir."

"Hey, look at the bright side, Jim. You'll get to know these five _really_ well," Sulu offered.

Scotty chuckled. "Aye. You'll have the duration of the storm to get cozy and pick your mate."

Jim glared at Scotty. He had no intention of getting cozy with anyone, least of all five strangers competing to marry him.

"Wait," Sulu said, a slow grin blossoming on his face. "This isn't just some ordinary sulk. You're _pining_."

"I'm not pining," Jim denied.

"Och, that's it, 'Karu. That's what's been stuck in his craw all these months! You're not pissed about the marriage requirement. You're hung up on that healer." Scotty looked up at Spock. "What was his name?"

"You are referring to Healer McCoy?" Spock answered with a question.

"Aye! That was it. That healer... Leonard. From Georgia." Scotty's grin widened. "You lads remember him, don’cha?"

Spock's eyes glinted. "Indeed, Mister Scott. I believe your observation is correct. It would seem that His Highness has already decided upon a mate and need look no further."

Sulu sighed. "Except for one little problem."

"Aye, we all know that Jim can't marry a commoner."

Jim swallowed, jaw clenching as he looked away from his so-called 'friends'. Backstabbing assholes more like. "Just shut it. All of you. I am not pining. I do not pine. And even if on some far off chance that I might pine over someone, I would definitely not be pining after Bones."

"But you named him, Laddie," Scotty argued softly. 

The three of them met eyes and Jim felt himself flash from resignation to anger. "It's not pining, dammit! I just think the rule that I must be wed in order to take the throne is antiquated and ridiculous! What in the hell does being married have anything to do with ruling?"

Spock lifted one eyebrow while Scotty and Sulu threw glances between them.

Jim huffed out a frustrated breath. "I wasn't supposed to be in this position! I'm the _second_ son. I was never meant for rule. I was meant for the sea!"

"That may be, Highness, but you were born to the queen and king. That alone set your feet on this path where no other now treads."

"Sam knew this shit. He was steeped in it from birth. I wasn't! I know nothing about sitting in the council chambers and deciding the fate of our people. Just the idea of staring at those gnarled windbags every day for the rest of my life is enough to make me want to leap off this cliff!"

"Hey there!" Scotty rested a heavy palm on Jim's shoulder.

"I'm not going to, dammit. I just…"

"We understand," Sulu said, voice gentle. "Not a one of us was happy to leave Georgia. And I still don't understand how a small clan tending a landlocked farm could inspire such loyalty, but there you have it."

That made Jim snort. "Because you were too busy trailing Pavel around with your tongue hanging out. Just like Scotty with Gaila." He shook his head. "There had to be something in the water, because even Spock wasn't immune. Were you, buddy?"

Spock straightened, the soft focus of his eyes instantly going cold. "I do not know to what you refer."

All three men laughed. "Riiiiight, Spock. There's just no way that Miss Nyota did anything for you."

"I did not--"

Spock wore a faint green blush across his cheeks. "Give it a rest, guys. I'm sorry. I was selfish and should have made you all stay on. Each of you would have been happy and maybe someday I could have visited in an official capacity.

"Jim," Scotty said.

Jim just shook him off, resolutely refusing to think about Bones or anything having to do with floppy hair, changeable hazel eyes, and gruff, profanity laced concern. "Nope. That's enough of that. I'll have no more talk of impossible dreams. The past is past and life is about making the best of what you have." 

He clapped his hands together and sat straighter. "Besides, we have a storm bearing down on us." He turned to Spock and asked, "Will we have time to completely evacuate the lowlands and stow all the ships?"

"Her Majesty's order to evacuate went out a hand of days ago. We are as prepared as we can be."

"Yet the port is in chaos," he said pointing below them.

"Not helped by that bloody large ship," Scotty scoffed.

"The harbormaster is doing his best to find all who need shelter a safe berth," Spock said.

"Yes, but that's the problem, isn't it? The docks already seem full and there are still ships streaming in. But look at the haphazard layout. If we re-ordered things, moved some of the smaller ships further inward…"

"Then there would be ample room for all," Spock finished.

"Aye, it could work, laddie, but we'll need someone in the water running interference, too. Not just on the dock."

"Sulu and I can do that from a couple of skiffs, while, Scotty, you and Spock get the pier organized."

"Highness, I must remind you--"

"Hush, Spock. I'll be in no danger, besides, it's my duty."

"I must remind you that you are the crown prince, Highness. You cannot continue to blithely ignore your own safety."

Jim sighed as he stood. "I hear you. And believe me I am listening, but I also have a duty to the people of Ohlonia. Who keeps them safe?"

Spock stiffened, his brows drew together. He was settling in for an argument and all that would accomplish would be to keep Jim from his goal. Jim gave Spock a smile then clapped him on the back. "Don't worry. I won't get myself killed on your watch."

Jim turned toward Scotty and Sulu, ignoring the cold glare Spock had to be directing his way. "C'mon, we've got our work cut out for us."

~~*~~

Winona, in no mood to socialize, stood watch at the large windows of the royal suite, staring into the gathering storm and flinching with each crash of rolling thunder. Logically, she knew they were all safe enough. Her people were born and bred to the sea so feared not its fury. But Winona was not from seafaring folk. She had been raised on the wide plains of Yowa where storms would come racing across the sky, dark and fierce, but short lived. And it was easy to escape the fury of the swirling winds in Des Moines. You simply took shelter below ground and were safe.

But here, in Ohlonia the storms moved slowly, bringing the fury of the sea with the winds. The fierce typhoons were giant, consuming the land and sky, with little hope of escape. Though the capital city of San Francisco was sheltered from most of the harshest storm's fury by the granite cliffs to the west, Winona was yet afraid. Chris -- _Admiral Pike_ , she mentally corrected -- was still a-sea, and overdue by a hand of days. That thought made her stomach twist and ache in a way she'd thought long done. And Jim, her reckless, rash, brave boy -- _Man_ , she again corrected, her fears tangling her thoughts -- was on a tiny skiff aiding the fishermen and merchant ships to safety in San Francisco's sheltered harbor.

Another flash of light and crash of thunder startled her. And then the rain came, pelting hard against the window. She pressed her nose to the glass, but the downpour was too strong. Though it was midday, she could no longer see the harbor, could no longer search the horizon for a ship with three tall masts and sails white as newly fallen snow from her homeland in winter. A door opened and Regina, her maid, stepped through, calling, "Majesty? I thought you would like some tea."

Winona did not turn away from the window. She waved at the table. "Thank you. Just set it there."

"Cook sent small finger foods in case you grow hungry."

Window inhaled deeply, gathering her position around her as she turned. Someone had been telling tales. "Tell Cook I appreciate her care. And you can leave me."

"'tis early, Majesty," Regina began, intent on looking after Winona whether she wanted her to or not.

"I am aware, but we have guests with expectations and there are many tasks to oversee after the storm. Your time is better spent doing such instead of hovering over me," Winona chided, but she kept a smile on her face. The staff in the palace had welcomed her from the first and Regina, who was no older than Winona herself, had been there from the first. In another life, she could have been Winona's friend. When Regina did not move, Winona let her smile fall. "Allow me to brood in peace, then. Does that utterance make you happy?"

Regina inhaled sharply, her eyes widening. She shook her head. "Admiral Pike is merely delayed by the storm. He will return, ma'am," she said. "And I will take my leave, but will be nearby if you need anything."

With that, Regina bowed low and left, closing the door soundlessly behind her. Winona turned back to the window and in between flashes of lightning and gusts of rain, she could almost swear there were sails on the horizon. But that was impossible. Even she knew you did not fly full sail in a storm. Sighing, she turned away. She wanted her loved ones nearby, safe and secure, not out on the very thing that had taken her husband and oldest son from her.

Wrapping her arms about her, she cursed the fates that had brought her here, then swore at herself for the fit of emotion. Straightening her back, she sat at the table and poured a cup of tea. Jim, at least, would be home soon and he had no time for her brooding let alone the fear that came out when she could not hold it in any longer. But Winona Kirk _nee_ Morrison, Queen of Ohlonia, was born to rule just as her people were born to the sea, and none would know that she was afraid of the water, that which gave life to her land and allowed her people to prosper.

Unlike her home, here in Ohlonia every son and daughter served in the way they could best, most taking to the sea as Jim had done upon reaching his majority. And even the Queen and Regent would work alongside her people to restore order and make repairs once the storm blew itself out. Thus, Winona relented and nibbled on the crudites and a small sandwich. Her appetite had left along with Chris it seemed, but she had to eat, despite that.

Giving up, she curled up in a chair near the fire, a warm woolen throw tossed over her. She held a book but made no pretense of reading it. Her eyes could not leave the windows.

She must have dozed because the doors crashing open startled her and she sat up, shaking herself to awareness.

"Mother!" Jim called out as he strode into the room, his dirty blond hair and woolen cloak dripping onto the rugs.

"James!" she scolded.

Jim stopped and hastily executed a perfunctory bow. "Sorry, Highness, but the _Enterprise_ made the mouth of the harbor. I came as soon as I was certain."

"What? Chri-- Is Admiral Pike utterly mad? Why did he not stay a-sea and wait out the storm?" She tamped down the surging anger at the rashness of her admiral, her lover, but that last was their secret. Then it dawned that Chris might not be at the helm. "Jim, _was_ it the Admiral? Or has--" She choked on finishing that question. The sea had already taken too much from her and she couldn't give voice to the idea that it might have taken nearly all she had left.

"No!" Jim barked. "I'm sure the admiral was merely intent on making port before the worst of the typhoon made landfall. He was already late in returning." He didn't say that the admiral knew better than to let Winona stew for longer than necessary.

"I know you've only just come in, but can you go and meet him? He bears news of the treaty between Ameria and Romulus and I would know where we stand amongst all the posturing of those two."

Jim smiled, his dad's smile, and Winona could not hold back a relieved sigh. "Don't you mean ‘go and drag his sorry ass back here’ so you can chew him out?"

"James Tiberius Goodwin Kirk! You do not get to speak to me like that!"

Jim merely smirked, then kissed her on the cheek. "Fine. I'll bring him in, then we can hear his story over dinner."

"You do that," Winona said, but she was smiling and the tension in her back was gone.

Once Jim raced back out, Winona called for Regina and ordered a simple, but rich dinner to be served in her private quarters. Chris had just returned, she was in no mood to share him. That could come later.

~~*~~

Jim fidgeted all through dinner, so Winona reluctantly let him leave to join his friends in the great room. The young men had no fear of storms or sea; they had salt in their blood and sought the wind and rain, telling stories and drinking throughout the night.

Winona huffed out a sigh as Jim left, but the smile for her son was still fond. She gathered her brandy and moved nearer to the fire.

"He is young yet, Highness. He will grow to be a good king," Chris said from her right. 

Winona shook her head. "I am not so sure, Chris. His twenty-fifth birthday approaches and yet he has no interest in any one suitor or maid." She bit her lip, the memories making it hard to breathe. "Even now there are five perfectly suitable candidates gathered under my roof. If he does not choose soon, I will be forced to."

Chris laid a warm hand on her forearm just as the windows rattled with a bright flash, the light and sound of the lightning blast making her jump. Chris pulled his hand away. "Forgive me," he said, so soft she barely heard him.

Winona glanced around the room, making certain they were alone before reaching for Chris' hand. "Please," she said, tugging him near. "I worried after you. I was afraid--"

Chris wrapped his arms around her, and Winona let herself sink into his strength, took the comfort he offered so freely. "And now you know why I chanced the storm, why I dared push the _Enterprise_ through."

Winona looked up him, met his gray blue eyes, saw her own worry reflecting back. She shook her head. "Never do that again," she scolded.

"What? Be late?" he teased.

She elbowed him in the gut, drawing a satisfying grunt from him. "In less than a year, I can give the throne to Jim and then none will care who I share my evenings with. But if you have gotten yourself killed in the meantime, what will I then do?"

Chris gave her that soft, gentle smile that made her heart flutter in her chest. "I promise to be careful."

"Ha!" she laughed, pushing away, but there was little mirth in her words. "You are never careful. It seems that all Ohlonian men are genetically predisposed to recklessness and foolish heroics, uncaring of the ones who wait at home."

"Winona," he whispered and she shivered at her name upon his lips.

"No, you do not get to try to soothe me. I will not be coddled nor managed." She stepped further away from him and crossed her arms over her chest.

But Christopher Pike was not one to give up without a fight. He'd never done so in his life and Winona was no exception. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to his chest, then whispered in her ear, "I would not dare coddle you. There is no need. You are the strongest, fiercest, most stubborn woman I have ever known. From the first time I laid eyes on you, your blonde hair blowing in the wind and eyes wide but unafraid as you stepped onto the deck of the Stargazer, I knew you were fearless and incredibly strong."

Winona couldn't speak around the lump that formed in her throat.

Chris continued, "I wanted to hate you… for being what I was not and could never be…"

"Royal," she murmured.

"Aye. But you," he smiled against her temple. "You are unlike any royal I have ever known. Of course George came to love you. Who would not?"

"He never stopped loving you," she whispered, the first time she'd admitted that truth aloud.

Chris huffed out a disbelieving breath. "Maybe, but you were all he needed and I was glad he was happy."

Winona turned in Chris' arms. "But was he? I wish--"

Chris tilted her chin up. "What? What do you wish?"

Swallowing, she met Chris' eyes and told him of her deepest regret. "I wish I'd given my permission… to George. I wish I had been brave enough to see you together as you should have been." The tears she had repressed slipped down her cheeks. "If I had not been scared, I could have known you were both happy, as you deserved to be."

"Winnie," Chris said, his voice soft and broken. "I-I was too young and hot-blooded. I do not think it would have gone easy for any of us. And George, dear George, would have been caught in the middle." He took a deep breath and smiled at her, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "I would rather dwell here, hold tight to what I have now and not live in the past. Which would you rather do?"

"I love you! I wish I had admitted that earlier, but I can not go back and tell my young self how to fix this. What I can do is promise that you will not be relegated to a dirty secret. Not again. Soon enough, everything will change and we can share all that we were not able to before."

And then Chris kissed her, his arms lifting her until she stood on tiptoes and their lips met. This was no kiss of absolution or of regret. Chris was showing her with every last ounce of his being that he loved her and trusted her to do what was right as she hadn't before. Clinging tightly Winona hoped she could be worthy of that trust.

~~*~~

With the storm howling its pent up fury outside the castle, Winona did not attempt sleep. There would be no rest while the storm raged, so Chris kept her company, his arm a warm weight over her shoulders as she attempted to read.

This was the part that Winona hated, being in the eye should be a relief but it locked everything up tight, anticipation more keen than ever. She missed the rattle of the wind against the shutters, the howl and moan as it clawed its way through the smallest crack. None of the storm's fury had diminished, but now they were in that limbo, the all-encompassing silence fraught and full. It bore down on her, made drawing breath hard, caught in her throat, had her head spinning.

She gasped and darted up to pace the sitting room, movement an antidote to the crushing calm.

"Winona?" Chris asked, standing after her.

"I'm fine," she said, but her teeth chattered, giving lie to her words.

Chris reached for her and Winona sagged into his strength, sighing. "We've made it this far," he murmured.

She nodded, but burrowed into his embrace.

A sharp rap sounded on the door. "Your Majesty," Regina called out in warning before the inner chamber door opened and her chamberlain strode in. He bowed low, then straightened. Winona and Chris had parted, with Chris a discrete distance behind her. "Your Majesty," he began, "Five guests have just arrived--"

"Just?" she clarified.

"Yes, ma'am. They have requested your presence--"

"And who are they that they have that right?" Chris stepped forward as he spoke, voice hard.

The chamberlain cringed and ducked his head. "Forgive me, Majesty, I cannot explain, but I think you should come." He hesitated, but gathered his courage and offered, "Unless you would rather I have the prince handle the matter?"

Winona frowned, considering, but gave the chamberlain a short nod. "I will meet these visitors, but the prince should also attend, I think."

The royal chamberlain almost smiled. He, after all, has known Jim since he was born and knew very well that the young prince was in no mood to have affairs of state interrupt his partying.

"We will be right down," Winona said in dismissal, only turning to Chris when the door shut out the world once again.

Chris was smiling at her fondly.

"What?"

"I admit to being curious, but Jim will be anything but."

She snorted. "Serves him right."

Chris smothered a smile and then offered his arm. "Shall we?"

"We shall," she said, actually happy for the diversion.

~~*~~

Jim raised his cup to the bard who had just finished a hilariously bawdy story. He stood, a bit unsteadily, to meet Scotty at the bar and refill his mug. As he strode toward his friend and the heady ale they saved for just such times, he purposefully did not glance toward the long table along the wall. Both of the suitors and their entourages ensconced there made Jim's stomach churn. There was just something about Prince Gary that was unsettling, even though the heir to the Mitchell throne was considered a prized catch all through Brittanica and beyond. Still, Jim couldn't get past the way the man's silver-blue eyes seemed to bore into him and left Jim feeling stripped bare.

The other prince, Ayel, was attractive in a darkly alluring way. And, despite being a third son of Emperor Nero, he would be a good match because he was the first son of Nero's favored concubine. But he looked at Jim with appraising eyes that left Jim feeling less like a person and more like a piece of meat, ready for the spit.

Luckily, the three princesses, including the Marcus heir, Carol, had no interest in partying the storm away. They were all safely tucked up in the library with the other ladies; the more genteel men were having a scholarly discussion on who knew what, but surely did not include a tale as ribald as the merchant and the farmer's daughter. Jim had glimpsed Carol at least wavering after dinner as though she would rather pass the time in the lounge, but propriety could not be denied. He snorted at that thought. It seems every one of them were constrained by position and expectation.

"Why the gloom and doom, laddie?"

Scotty's question startled Jim out of his melancholy musing and he looked up to see Scotty frowning at him. He'd whined enough at his friends and it wasn't like they didn't have their own problems, so he just shrugged. "Eh. It's the suitors…"

"If you had chosen to pass the evening in the library, Highness, you could have avoided the creepers," Spock interrupted from immediately behind Jim.

Scotty snorted. "Did you just call two of the most eligible bachelor princes _creepers_ , Spock?"

Jim turned to see Spock stiffen, the barest hint of pale green tinting his cheeks. Jim had to bite his lips to keep from laughing. He turned to Scotty and lifted his cup to distract everyone. "Fill 'er up," he said, laughter tinting his words. "Please," he added as an after thought.

Spock cocked his head and stared intently at both Scotty and Jim. "What did I say, Highness? I know you have used that term for--"

"Spock," Jim interrupted, palm pressing gently on Spock's forearm. "It's fine. You used it correctly. It's just…"

He ran out of words then. How did he explain that slang was just _wrong_ when said in Spock's stiff and formal intonation?

"What Jim's trying to say is that you might have used the right words, but you missed the mark by a nautical mile."

Spock blinked.

"Don't worry about it, Spock. It's fine. I got the message. We all did. And yeah, it's pretty damned accurate, too."

Scotty nodded. "Hard to miss those eyes of Mitchell's."

"Or the way Prince Ayel licks his lip when he looks at you, Highness." Spock sounded distinctly displeased.

"Well, at least it's clear that there's no match to be had _here._ Even Barnett wouldn't insist I accept either of their suits." At least Jim was pretty sure he wouldn't. He sighed, drawing his cup to his lips.

"The ladies do seem to be better candidates, Highness. If not--"

"What?" Scotty interrupted. "You've got to be kidding, Spock? If looks could kill, Janice would have gutted Jim in the first ten seconds."

Spock stiffened, affronted. "Princess Rand holds no animosity toward his Highness. She knows him well enough to ignore his foibles."

"Foibles?" Jim barked.

And Scotty shook his head. "Not Rand. _Lester,_ Spock. That one's scary. Trust me when I say I wouldn't dare leave Jim alone with her."

Spock startled and turned toward Jim. "Has someone in the Lester delegation threatened you, Highness?"

Jim lifted his hands and shook his head. "Calm down, Spock. Scotty's exaggerating." He shot Scotty a hard glare. To which Scotty merely shrugged his shoulders and finished his ale. "It's nothing like that. Janice -- Lester -- and I met once before. At her debut." He still felt bad for mistaking the princess for a maid. "It didn't go well, okay? I'm sure she was forced here and no happier about it than I am. That's all."

Spock relented, unbending slightly.

But Scotty couldn't help getting the last word. "This would all be easier if we tossed aside this whole marriage requirement. Like they've done in Ameria."

Jim did not need to be reminded that there were places where men and women could take the throne and rule without ridiculous strictures on when and who they married. But before he could elbow Scotty for reminding him how unfair it all was, Winona, Pike, and Chamberlain Barnett strode into the room.

Everything stopped at once as everyone in the room immediately dropped into a deep bow. And this time, that included Jim. He could do proper. He _could._

"James, please come with us," Winona ordered, her tones clipped but not unhappy.

Jim straightened and took a step forward. "Certainly, Your Majesty." He turned to look over his shoulder and cocked his head to Scotty and Spock.

"Yes, dear, your friends can come, too. And I should hope that Spock, of all people, _would._ "

She didn't wait for Jim's reply, but turned and left the lounge, the five of them trailing in her wake. Whatever the summons was about, there was a sense of urgency that made no sense considering they were in the middle of weathering a large typhoon. Both Spock and Scotty had no answers, either. Neither did Hikaru who met them in the hallway outside the large entrance hall.

The guards standing there were upright and alert, not the usual casual at ease during a stormwatch.

Jim frowned, tried to guess what was going on, but couldn't have imagined that they'd be greeting guests. And what the hell? Who just shows up during a typhoon. Who could?

Standing in a huddle near the large doors nearest the antechamber were six hooded figures, water puddling at their feet as it dripped off their sodden cloaks. Jim shook his head, puzzled as to why he and the queen were here. Wasn't this something that a foot soldier could handle?

"Greetings," Winona began as she stepped forward, Pike and Barnett flanking her. "Welcome to Ohlonia. Your arrival is most unexpected in light of the circumstances, but I am certain we can make arrangements--"

Her voice stopped as the lead figure tossed back his hood. Jim looked up from contemplation of his boots.

"Mother," the man said.

"Sam?" Jim squeaked.

"Hey there, twerp," Sam said.

"What the fuck?" Jim spat out, his hands clenched into fists as he surged forward. Only Spock's strong grip held him in place.

"Language!" Winona barked out. She was pale and leaning heavily on Pike who had offered her his arm. "Sammy? Is it… are you… how?" Her free hand fluttered at her throat before slipping up to cover her mouth as she held back a sob.

That seemed to break something in Sam and he strode forward. In two steps he had Winona wrapped up in strong arms while Jim glared daggers at him. Pike's expression was no more forgiving and Barnett himself seemed to be asea, unable to know what to say or what to do with his hands.

Jim tugged out of Spock's grasp and stepped up to Sam, punching him on the shoulder. "By all that's holy, Sam, where the hell have you been?"

"Hey!" Sam protested, but instead of arguing he looped an arm around Jim and dragged him into the embrace. Jim's throat closed and he had to draw several quick breaths to keep the emotion at bay.

"This family reunion is touching, but could we get some towels over here at least?" a gravelly baritone asked from where the rest of Sam's party was still standing.

And it might have been over a year, but Jim would know that voice anywhere. He pulled away from Sam and turned to see the rest of the group remove their cloaks. His eyes met surprised hazel. "Bones?" Jim gasped out.

"Bones?" Sam said from behind Jim, but Jim wasn't really paying attention to Sam, not any longer. Not now that he was confronted with someone who couldn't be here.

"Jim?" Bones asked, as confused as Jim was.

Before he even knew what he was doing, Jim was striding forward. "Bones? How is this possible?" Jim's voice might have squeaked a tiny bit, but who could blame him. This was all a little too much to take in.

"Um," Bones started, but he was doing that absolutely not adorable thing where he stuttered a little and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere but would not meet Jim's.

"James," Winona and Nyota both said simultaneously, leaving Jim utterly at a loss as who to look at or answer.

Luckily for everyone in the suddenly awkward silence, Admiral Pike had no problem with barking out orders. "Barnett, please show our guests to their rooms, provide them with whatever they need to clean up and then have Regina set up a meal in the Queen's private dining chamber." 

He offered his hand to Winona, gently pulling her away from Sam. "Come, Your Majesty. Allow them time to change from their wet clothes. I think this discussion will go better if it happens over warm food and drink."

Winona shook herself, blinked a couple of times, and then took Pike's arm. "Yes, of course, Admiral. You're right. I… forgot myself for a moment." She offered Sam a bright-eyed smile but looked no less regal for it. "Please, all of you, avail yourselves of our hospitality. If there is anything you need, just ask."

She turned back toward the doors, back straight, head held high even though Jim just knew she was near to breaking. She had to be because he was. Torn, he hesitated, eyes glued to Bones' face.

"James. With me, if you please," Winona's firm voice trailed after her.

And that made Jim's decision for him. Whatever was going on here, he could wait a little longer for answers.

"I will hear all of this, Bones," Jim said before turning away and striding after his mother.

~~*~~

Jim didn't admit to pacing the entire time they were waiting, but Winona barked at him twice and Pike even stepped in front of him and forced him down into a chair in front of the fireplace. He also handed Jim a snifter of brandy with an understanding smile in his eyes even though he said nothing aloud. Jim was grateful for the courtesy, and the distraction because he was not faring well in that vein himself.

Jim tensed when the servants came bustling in to set up the dining table, filling the sideboards with all manner of delectable foods including, Jim noted, all of Sam's favorites. That alone gave him pause. Sam was back. Sam, the eldest son, the _heir_ had returned! Something must have shone on Jim's face because Scotty, who'd remained silent and near invisible for the duration, perked up and joined Jim.

"What's up, laddie?" he whispered, his own glass of whiskey dry as a bone.

Spock did not lean in, but he was noticeably closer than before, while Sulu had no hesitance for shoving Jim half off the chair and sharing it with him, his dark eyes intent upon Jim.

"It's stupid, but _Sam's_ home," he hissed quietly, afraid to give voice to the realization above a hard whisper.

"Aye?" Scotty agreed, but seemed to be questioning Jim's sanity at the obviousness of his statement.

Jim huffed. "I'm the _spare_ again," he said, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

"And Leonard has arrived on your doorstep," Sulu added to Jim's fervent nodding.

"Oh!" Scotty said, brightening. "Sorry. I missed that for a minute. Just been a long while since you were plain ol' Jim."

"This pleases you, Highness?" Spock asked.

Jim turned and looked up at Spock. He had to roll his eyes at Spock's expression. It was stoic and stiff, but Jim swore there was a hint of hope there, too. "Of course it does, Spock. I'd say it pleases all of us, eh?" He nudged both Sulu and Scotty, though neither acknowledged it.

"James?" Winona called, beckoning Jim to her side.

Pike took a step back, to allow them a moment, but he did not go far.

Jim offered Winona his arm and they strolled to the far corner of the room, toward the windows where the storm was once again gaining fury as the eye moved further inland.

Winona turned Jim toward her, cupping his cheek and examining his face carefully. "Before our guests arrive, tell me who this 'Bones' is."

Her voice was gentle, almost coaxing, but there was steel underneath. Winona was asking not as Jim's mother, but as the queen, and she would not be denied.

Jim sighed. "Remember when you sent me to Vulcan?"

"Yes?"

"Well, you know there was trouble. First the Kossack ambush and then the pirates."

Winona's hand tightened on Jim's arm, her gaze hardening. "There was more?"

"No! Yes. But not like you're thinking." He sighed. This was not the setting for telling his mother what had happened on that disastrous trip, but it seemed he didn't have a choice. "Scotty was wounded and we were taking on water. We stopped at the nearest safe harbor we could find."

"Go on."

"Um, well, we were on the outskirts of Georgia. It was a pretty rural duchy, more goats and sheep than people, honestly. But Bones…. uh, Leonard McCoy lived and worked there. His family farmed while B-- Leonard was the area's only healer." Jim took a deep breath, then continued. "Mother, he's the best healer I've ever seen. I was sure we were going to lose Scotty like we'd already lost Doc Brown and those five crewmen. He saved Scotty and never asked for a damned thing."

Her eyes were intent, boring into Jim's soul but he couldn't look away. "He might not have asked, but you gave, didn't you, baby?" Winona's voice was placid, soothing in that way she had when Jim needed coaxing down from whatever trouble he'd gotten himself into.

He swallowed and nodded. Couldn't do anything else.

"Oh, baby," she said, shaking her head. "So this healer is the reason no suitor has a chance?"

It wasn't really a question, but Jim answered anyway. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't know. I--" he broke off mid-babble.

Winona chuckled, then kissed Jim, once on each eyelid. "So much like your father," she murmured. "So you thought it was just a nice little dalliance with the attractive healer who was caring for Scotty, but once you returned home you realized that the healer had taken something?"

"Taken?" Jim growled. "Bones is no thief!"

"Calm down. He must be since he stole my baby's heart," Winona said, her voice ripe with amusement.

"Oh. Um."

Winona patted Jim's arm, her eyes shining. "It doesn't change his station, Jim. But there are ways around that," she offered, her voice dropping into a conspiratorial hush.

Jim shook his head. "No!" He glared. "Not only will I not do that to Bones, he'd never stand for it. He's the most upstanding man I've ever met, Mom. And Spock's head of my security detail!"

Winona raised her hands. "Okay. I won't bring it up again. But he might surprise you," she said. "Besides. Never discount the truth that it's better to love, to _have_ , than the alternative. Whatever you have to do to make that happen."

Before Jim could argue, Barnett opened the double doors, announcing their guests.

"Prince George Samuel Morrison Kirk the Second and Aurelan Abaroa de Kirk," Barnett said as Sam and a pretty brunette stepped through the door. Jim's mouth wasn't the only one hanging open at the announcement that the Crown Prince had returned with a _wife._

And before he or Winona or even Pike could get their bearings and say a word, Barnett was announcing the rest of the guests.

"The Honorable Healer, Leonard Horatio McCoy of Georgia. The Lady Nyota Uhura. Sir Pavel Chekov. And the Lady Gaila Orion." Barnett managed to keep the same even tone throughout the introductions despite his raised eyebrow and disapproving countenance.

Dinner was mostly silent except for the conversation Scotty and Hikaru managed to keep afloat with the help of Pavel and Gaila. The rest of the Georgians as well as Jim's entire family was nearly non-responsive. Winona's expression dithered from coldly furious to furiously grateful every time she glanced Sam's way. And Sam, for his part, waffled from sheepish to defiant. Jim was little better, his own mood swinging from hopeful to despondent. Of everyone, Pike seemed to be the only one enjoying himself, if the near-smile and laughing eyes were any indication of his real feelings. Jim couldn't begin to guess since he was too busy being angry at Sam while drinking in the sight of Bones.

Jim heaved a sigh of relief when Winona tapped her lips with her napkin and set it aside. He could ignore the Sam issue and finally speak to Bones in private!

But his hope was short-lived, cut down when Winona spoke. "I think we should retire to the drawing room for coffee. Or brandy." She stood and everyone followed her motion.

"I could go for a brandy, Your Majesty," Bones said, giving a little nod to Winona.

"Aye, a snifter would go down right nice, ma'am," Scotty echoed the sentiment making Jim groan. He just wanted a few minutes alone. Was that too much to ask?

Apparently it was, because Winona took Bones' arm instead of Pike's or even Sam's as they strolled from the dining room down the hallway, her head tilted toward Bones'. Jim was left blinking after them feet rooted to the spot until Spock nudged him forward "I suggest we catch up, Highness. There is no telling what tales will be told in your absence."

"Shit!" Jim blurted out, still torn between wanting to follow and dreading it. His mother could be a terror and she'd taken Bones aside after Jim had confessed his feelings.

"Highness?" Spock asked when Jim still hadn't moved.

"Right, um… what do you think, Spock? Should I take my chances with the storm? Or face the queen?"

Spock absolutely did not smile at Jim, but his eyes twinkled. Jim swore it. "I would suggest that in either case you will end up facing down the queen, so you may as well stay warm and dry to do so."

Jim straightened, squaring his shoulders to meet his fate. He did not rush after the others, but calmly walked down the hall and sedately entered the room.

He was met with the sight of Bones strolling around the room, Winona on his arm. Jim swallowed nervously as Winona laughed at something Bones said. And, dammit, he knew that Bones was a charming bastard, but how had he managed to get Winona to look like that in the few minutes Jim had left them alone?

"That could be good or very, very bad, laddie," Scotty said as he handed Jim a snifter of brandy.

"I'll call it a good thing, right, Spock?" Hikaru asked, sipping his own drink. "I mean, think on it. Sam's back, so who Jim marries is of no import any longer."

Jim blinked at Hikaru as his words sunk in. "Holy shit!" he muttered.

Spock nudged Jim away from the door and toward the seating area by the fire and Jim went easily; his mind still stuck on the revelation that he might have a chance with Bones. "You think that's what she's doing?" he hissed in a low whisper to Hikaru.

"Aye," Scotty replied. "That's an interview if ever I've seen one."

Hikaru shrugged. "I learned long ago to never question a woman's motives, doubly so where you mother is concerned, Jim."

"Shit!" he mouthed, dropping onto a sofa.

Bones and Winona took another few turns around the room and then Bones escorted Winona toward the seating area. With a short bow he 'gave' Winona to Pike and then gracefully backed away to join the rest of the Georgian group who had set up in the opposite corner, near the windows where Pavel was setting up the chess set. Jim wanted to follow, but Winona sat down beside him, her hand on his wrist keeping him in place.

She waved for another drink and then caught Sam's eye making him turn toward her. "First things first," she said. "Please introduce us to your lovely wife and do tell us how you met." Her voice carried that pleasant yet regal tone that she used when she was thoroughly put out with someone, but only the family would realize just how angry she actually was.

Sam didn't hesitate, just wrapped an arm around Aurelan's shoulder and gently pulled her closer. "Mother, this is Aurelan, of Deneva. Aurelan, this is my mother, Queen of Ohlonia."

"’Winona’ will do, m'dear," Winona interrupted, her smile warm, but not meeting her eyes.

Sam narrowed his eyes but continued, "She saved me, brought me back to life and opened my eyes to the world." He turned to look at Aurelan and his face shifted. Sam changed. He looked younger, brighter, definitely happier when he gazed at his wife. Winona went still, a pleasant mask plastered to her face, but Sam either didn't notice or didn't care.

"We thought you dead, Samuel. Lost to the sea. Your ship was found torn to shreds on a rocky promontory." Winona managed an even tone, but her knuckles were white where she gripped her snifter. Jim swallowed his instinct to jump in, withholding the urge to fix this. He couldn't fix it. Only Sam could, if he wished to.

Sam ducked his head and nodded. When he raised his face, he gave his mother a pained smile, then dropped to his knees before her. "Mother," he said, voice hoarse. "I have no excuse for holding my silence." He turned to meet Jim's gaze. "Forgive me, all of you."

Taking Winona's hand, he entwined their fingers. "I was gravely injured in the wreck and there was a time where I had forgotten myself, but even once I remembered, I could not bring myself to contact you." Gritting his teeth, he continued as though a convicted man to the noose. "I found everything that I had ever wanted in Deneva. I found _home_ in Aurelan and I chose to stay dead rather than lose her."

Jim swore softly under his breath as Winona's face drained of blood, her eyes bright with tears. "You let me believe you dead because you fell in love?" she ground out, both furious and hurt.

Sam's eyes flicked to Pike, then returned to Winona. "I watched you. And I learned what happens to those we love, Mother. I didn't want that for Aurelan."

"The Crown Prince of --"

"But I'm not," he interrupted. "Not anymore. I died. It is official. Jim will be king. And I will keep my simple life."

Jim blinked at Sam, stunned and unable to muster any response as all hope drained from his life.

When Winona said nothing, Sam continued. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. Any of you." Sam glanced at Jim and Pike. "That's why I came back. I wanted you to meet Aurelan and our baby."

Winona gasped out, heedless of the tears sliding down her face she turned to Aurelan and clasped her hand. "When?"

"More than a hand of months yet, Your Majesty. I suggested to Sam that we should come at once, as soon as I knew."

Winona stared at Sam. "You would not be here had Aurelan not insisted."

There was no question, but Sam still felt the need to respond. Shaking his head, he said, "I would not. Not for awhile longer. I'm sorry, Mother. I _am._ But, really, what choice did I have?"

"There are always alternatives. Solutions." She swiped at her cheeks with a lace handkerchief, then took a deep breath and shook off her anger. "Well, there is nothing for it now." She smiled at Aurelan. "How long do you plan to stay?"

Jim's respect for Aurelan grew a thousandfold. Few could hold their own when Winona focused on you, but Aurelan seemed to be unaware of just how intimidating Winona was. She glanced at Sam, her eyes filled with adoration before she turned to Winona and answered. "I expected that we'd stay at least until the babe is born. If you'll allow us to?"

Winona's face was near comical from surprise. " _If_ I'll allow? M'dear, I would want you to stay here for always if I thought that was at all possible." She glanced at Sam. "Since I doubt my son will agree to such a thing, I will take what you allow me."

Jim had sat silently through the whole exchange. He was having trouble finding the words to express himself. But seeing Winona turned from angry, worried, betrayed mother and queen to doting and excited future grandmother was all he could take. Jerking up, he shook his head and cried out, "Oh, hell no!" He pointed a finger at Sam. "You bastard! What gives you the right?"

"What?" Sam asked, genuinely surprised.

"James!" Winona scolded.

Jim turned to his mother. "No! It's not fair! Why does he get to fall in love, marry whoever he wants and I don't? Why is that fine? Maybe I should run off and die, too?"

"Enough!" Pike barked out. He stood up to stare Jim down. "Cut the crap! No one's running off and you're certainly not pulling any goddamn fool stunt!"

Jim crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Pike.

"I'll lock you up if need be, son."

"Well that's just grand then, isn't it?" He glanced at Sam, then turned hard, icy blue eyes to his mother. "I'll just be the _obedient_ son. Whom should I marry? Gary Mitchell of Britannica, who sees me as nothing more than a stepping stone? I'll likely be dead before Sam can give you a second grandchild." Ignoring Winona's harsh inhale, he continued, voice dripping sarcasm. "No? Maybe I should throw myself on Ayel's tender mercies? I'm certain he'll have a whole harem at his disposal and will leave me be after I hold no more challenge for him."

"Son," Pike cautioned, but Jim no longer cared.

"No? So I guess it'll be Carol and the Marcus throne, then. That should make you both happy. With our lands united, they'll have the fleet they've needed to get their grain and goods to market and we'll have those same goods at reduced rates. A win-win for everyone, I'd say. Who the hell cares if we despise each other?"

"James Tiberius Goodwin Kirk!" Winona stood, her voice not overly loud, but it held a strident chord. "That will be quite enough!"

Jim's jaw slammed shut, but he did not stop glaring.

"May I please say something, Your Majesty?" Bones asked from over Winona's shoulder.

Jim glared at Bones for good measure. He had to grit his jaw so hard it hurt, otherwise he'd blurt out again just how utterly unfair his life was. Why did the fates conspire to drop Bones in his lap only to tear him out of Jim's grasp almost at the same moment?

"Jim," Bones started, speaking to Jim instead of anyone else. Jim had to swallow at the tender look in those hazel eyes. The fact that he couldn't have Bones, couldn't have _that_ , just made him vibrate with cold fury.

"Darlin', it's not all doom and gloom," Bones said in that way he had, half coaxing, half pushing.

Jim snorted.

Bones gave Jim a secretive smile, the one Jim remembered from just after their first kiss. He nearly choked on how much he'd missed that smile and everything else about Bones. But Bones was talking and Jim was forced to pay attention. "As I told your mother, the reason I'm here is to ask for your hand, if you are amenable?"

Jim blinked, then closed his eyes and replayed the words in his head. He opened his eyes and looked at Bones. "Haven't you been listening? I'm the fuckin' Crown Prince of Ohlonia."

"James!"

"I have to marry royalty. It's the law." He shook his head and sighed. "I dreamed about you asking me, Bones, but now it's just a cruel joke."

Bones came to stand before Jim, ignoring everyone else in the room. "It's not a joke, Jim. I want to marry you and I have the pedigree. You only have to say yes, kid."

"What? But how? You were _farming_ , Bones!"

"If I may, Highness?" Spock spoke up from behind Jim.

"What is it, Spock?" And, really, Spock had done nothing to Jim; he so didn't deserve for Jim to be so damned snide. He would apologize later.

"I have verified the veracity of Leonard McCoy's claim. He was farming because his--"

"I can tell my own damned story, Spock," Bones huffed out with a roll of his eyes before turning his attention back to Jim. "I was on the farm because my ex kicked me out of the palace. Stole the whole place. And lately, it's gotten even worse. Kind of not the safest place for me right now, thus the impromptu sailing."

"Wait, what did you say, Spock? You verified his claim? How? He only just made it!"

Jim grabbed Bones' hand to let him know that they weren't done as he turned to pierce Spock with a hard glare. "Well?"

Spock cleared his throat and his eyes darted across the room. When his eyes refocused on Jim, a tiny smile lit his features as Nyota joined him. "I will not apologize for remaining in contact with the Lady Uhura, Highness, as it was I who invited them to come when their safety was in question."

Flabbergasted, Jim looked at Scotty and Hikaru. "And did you both know about this, too?"

"No!"

"Aye!" Scotty said. "But in my defense I only just learned the whole story when they arrived!"

Jim looked down at his fingers tangled with Bones'. "Did you mean it, Bones? Seriously?"

Bones lifted their hands to his mouth and brushed his lips over the back of Jim's hand before answering. "Every word, darlin'. But you still haven't answered."

"And he won't. Not yet." Winona interrupted.

"Mother!" Jim cried out in exasperation.

Winona stepped around Bones, but didn't break their hold. She pressed her palm to Jim's cheek and Jim got a lump in his throat, which surprised him as he'd been so furious just an instant ago. "Baby, I want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. And because I want you to be happy, we're going to do this by the book. That way there will be not one whisper of impropriety from the Council. I promise you, it will be worth it."

Bones straightened and nodded. "Whatever it is I need to do, I will do it, Your Majesty. I swear."

Winona smiled at Bones. "I'm not quite sure how my sons found such devoted mates, but it pleases me greatly that they have." She glanced at Pike. "It's even better that neither of you are in awe of me, though it grates on my ego."

Before anyone could interject, Winona silenced them all with a look. "There is a precedent for determining lineage. It is still on the books even as archaic as it is."

"And what must I do? Survive three challenges? Battle and fell a beast? Outsmart a wizard? Become one with the land?"

Winona chuckled. "Nothing like that, Leonard." Her tone and smile were amused and unabashedly fond. She wrapped an arm around Leonard's arm and then Jim's and tugged them close before saying in a stage whisper, "You must prove that you are of tender birth by sleeping on a tall stack of feather mattresses without discomfort."

Bones pulled back and looked at Winona in utter befuddlement. "I have to _sleep_? How is that a test?"

Winona chuckled again. "There is a secret to it that you cannot know, but I can assure you that is the complete test."

Jim glanced around the room to see if this was some elaborate prank being played on him, but everyone except Barnett was as confused as he was. "This makes no sense, Mother."

"But it does, Jim. It _does._ " She patted Bones on the arm. "Do you agree to the test, Leonard?"

"Of course I do, ma'am. I am willing to do most anything if it means I can have Jim's hand."

"Then you should go and prepare. Barnett will have your bed made up and send for you when it's ready." She gave a secret smile to Nyota. "I would love to get to know you better, m'dear, but that will come later. For now you all must be excluded from the rest of the discussion. I do hope you don't mind?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my mother?" Jim asked, half joking, but only half.

Bones kissed Jim's knuckles then bowed to Winona. "I believe that's my cue to leave you to it." Nyota smiled at Spock then joined Pavel and Gaila at Leonard's side. "Goodnight, everyone," Bones said. "I'll see you in the morning, Jim."

Jim was still amused and at a loss for words so merely waved at Bones' retreating form.

Barnett followed after Bones and waved the attendants out with him, the door closing with a firm click behind him.

Winona knocked Jim's chin with a knuckle. "Don't you dare ever threaten me again, young man."

"Mom!"

"Now would be a good time to hush, little brother," Sam shushed Jim.

Winona put her hands on her hips and turned icy eyes to Sam. "That sentiment goes double for you, George Samuel Morrison Kirk. The only reason that I did not have you tossed out into the storm is that lovely lady at your side. Now hush, both of you, so that I can actually explain the test to Jim before he busts a gut."

"Hey! I--"

"Jim, just sit down and keep your mouth closed for five minutes," Winona pointed at the sofa. "Please?"

That last made Jim's knees buckle and he found himself sitting as requested.

"Barnett is having twenty feather mattresses stacked on Leonard's bed. Before he summons Leonard to his rest a single, uncooked, dried pea will be placed between the two bottom mattresses. And then we wait until the morning."

"Huh?"

Even Spock felt compelled to ask for clarification. "Your Majesty, what will that prove?"

"If Leonard feels the pea, it means that he is delicate enough to be a princess, uh, prince, and worthy to marry Jim."

Scotty scratched his head and leaned over to whisper something to Hikaru while Jim met Sam's eyes. His brother looked equally confused before a sly smile began to dawn on his face. Jim recognized the expression. It always preceded Sam roping Jim into doing something stupid or foolhardy and, invariably, landed Jim in a heap of trouble.

"So, we're done for the night?" Sam asked.

Winona glanced at the tall grandfather clock on the wall and nodded. "Yes, I think it's more than past the time we all got some sleep. Dawn is near and the storm is scheduled to be past by midday. We will all need our wits then."

Pike offered her his arm after Sam and Aurelan each kissed her cheek. She smiled at them both, placing their hands together. "I am truly happy for you, Sammy. You hang onto this one."

She cocked her head at Jim who startled, then jumped up and placed a kiss on her cheek, too. "Thanks, Mom," he whispered. "Sorry for earlier."

Winona sighed. "Jim, I'm sorry that you believed me so heartless. Maybe this will make it up to you."

" _If_ Bones can pass an impossible test."

"Don't doubt that man. He's too clever by halves and he comes from very good stock. I think he, out of anyone that's been a possibility, is the only choice for you."

Jim nodded.

"No one else could keep you in line."

"Hey!"

"Night, sweetie."

They swept out of the room and Jim collapsed onto the couch, moaning, "This is the stupidest test!"

"It does lack logic, Highness."

"But, it's binding," Sam interjected. "That means we just need to make sure Leonard doesn't fail."

Jim whirled around to gape at Sam. "It's not like it's hard to make a mattress uncomfortable, let alone problematic enough to disturb someone's sleep."

"Are you suggesting we cheat?" Jim asked.

Sam shrugged. "Your wedding. Though I'd definitely forego Gary." Sam shuddered. "He always gave me the creeps. Maybe I should introduce him to Khan?"

"Of Siddhartha? Those two deserve each other," Hikaru said.

"Who'd win the creepiest eyes between em'?" Scotty asked as he gave a large shudder.

The teasing continued for a few more minutes longer. When Aurelan gave Jim a sleepy smile, but couldn't stifle the wide yawn splitting her face, Sam stood up to leave and everyone followed suit.

"Night, Jim," Sam said.

Jim pulled Sam into a hug. "Night, you."

~~*~~

Jim paced the corridor outside his rooms, debating with himself before he took the mace from the ceremonial suit of armor and, concealing it under a cloak, strode toward the guest rooms.

~~*~~

"Are you truly going to place _that_ under Leonard's mattress?" Aurelan asked Sam as he hefted the large andiron from the fireplace.

"Of course," he nodded.

She shook her head. "Idiot," she said, though her tone was fond. "That's too obvious. You need to be sneakier."

He blinked after her as she left the room, returning with a metal pinned hair brush. This will get his attention, but will not be obvious from without."

Sam chuckled. "As if anyone could doubt why I love you."

"Go before it's too late. I really do not have the heart to see your brother make such a public display again."

~~*~~

Scotty knocked on Hikaru's door. He answered, one of the stuffed porcupines from the classrooms hidden behind his back. Scotty laughed as he pulled out the cactus from behind his. Chuckling they made their way toward the guest rooms.

~~*~~

Spock glanced down the hallway to ensure it was empty. He gathered the baseballs under his cloak before strolling through the corridors, his ultimate destination the guest wing.

~~*~~

"Chris?" Winona called for Pike as she stepped into his suite.

"Here, Winnie," Pike greeted.

Winona took one look at the large wooden pulley in his right hand and she began chuckling. "If _that_ doesn't disturb the boy's sleep, nothing will."

"That was the idea."

"You best hurry. I have Barnett delaying Leonard as much as possible, but it is getting late."

"Aye-aye, Your Majesty," Pike mocked, laughing as Winona slapped his arm as he slipped out the door.

~~*~~

"Explain this to me again," Gaila whispered as they ducked into an alcove in the corridor outside their room.

"If Leonard has a terrible night's sleep from a single pea, then he'll be worthy of Jim and he can finally stop moping!" Nyota explained.

"And your shoe?" 

"If Leonard can sleep with this stiletto heel digging into his spine, then he doesn't deserve Jim."

"You just want to hurt Leonard for the past year of long faces and puppy eyes, don't you?"

Nyota took a deep breath. "I want to be with Spock, but if Jim and Leonard are too stupid, what chance will I have?"

Gaila cocked her head, smile growing. "Even Leonard is not thick skinned enough to miss this." She ran her finger over the pointy tip of Nyota's shoe, then grinned. "I'm in," Gaila nodded decisively, her curls bouncing as her head bobbed. "It's for true love, after all."

Nyota swallowed a snort, but nodded.

~~*~~

Jim moaned and huddled further into the covers when some minion of evil came into his room and was shaking his shoulder. He'd barely slept! Swatting at the hand that was disturbing him, he buried his face in the pillow, grunting out, "Go 'way."

The hand shaking him left, but the owner of said hand began bustling about Jim's room, opening drawers and doors. There was even the sound of running water coming from his bathroom. He ignored the noises, paid them no mind so that he could return to his dream of kissing Bones...

Bones leaned close, warm breath brushing against Jim's ear, then Bones said, "Wake up, Highness." in Spock's voice.

Jim jerked upright, head hitting the headboard as he startled. "What the?" He dropped his head back with more force than intended, rattling the entire bed frame, as he growled. "Dammit, Spock!"

Spock was standing over Jim, face impassive, though Jim could swear Spock was laughing at him.

"I've taken the liberty of drawing you a bath, Highness."

"You're not my damned valet, Spock. You know this is not in your job description, don't you?"

Jim dragged himself out of bed and into the bath. It was the perfect temperature; the heat seeping into Jim's muscles set Jim to drifting off.

"Highness, I suggest you do not dawdle if you want to be the first to know what transpired with Leonard last night."

Jim blinked blearily up at Spock. There was something off about him this morning. Not only did he not normally tend to Jim like a manservant would, he usually had the patience to wait until Jim came down to the dining room to begin pestering him. Jim ducked his head under the water to rinse off the last of the soap before standing. He took the towel Spock held for him and stepped out of the tub when it hit him. "Holy shit, Spock! This is all about Lady Uhura, isn't it?" He chuckled and tossed the towel onto the vanity.

Spock stiffened, but denied it. "I merely thought you would wish to know--"

Jim waved off his protest. "Don't worry. I get it. She's a beautiful woman and obviously reciprocates your feelings. But she won't leave Bones' side."

"I have not asked her to do so."

"Because you know the answer."

Jim passed on the formal suit and thick woolen jacket and breeches; instead opting for black slacks and a royal blue button down which he covered with his favorite black sweater made from the softest alpaca wool they imported from a country far to the South. "How do I look?"

"I suspect that you could wear dungarees and Leonard would find you pleasing."

"Pleasing?" Jim glared at Spock's reflection over his shoulder in the mirror. "That's the best compliment you have? Tell me you don't speak to Lady Uhura in that manner."

"I see nothing wrong with calling someone pleasing, Highness."

Jim had gone and done it now. Spock would never admit to being miffed, but he was. Jim raised his hands as they strolled down the corridor. "Never mind, Spock. It's fine. Seriously. She likes you just the way you are."

Before Jim could put his foot further in his mouth, Scotty and Hikaru joined them.

"Morning, laddie!"

"Hey, Jim. Nice sweater."

"You trying to entice Leonard into eloping?"

Jim fought the blush that lit his cheeks. "Stop it! A guy can want to look nice for his guests. It doesn't have to mean anything."

Scotty and Hikaru both snorted at Jim. "Suuuure. Right. And that's why you showed up for breakfast with Gary and Ayel in fishing gear and rubber boots."

"In my defense, I was _going_ fishing. It's not my fault if neither of them knew a bobber from a fly."

Jim hadn't been paying attention to where they were going. He came up short when he realized that whatever would be revealed, it would be in a very public setting in front of all of the guests and probably more than a few council members. Jim glanced at his friends and swallowed. He prayed that his 'cheat' had worked.

Before Spock opened the doors to the dining hall, he said, "I took the liberty of sending in your valet to straighten up Leonard's rooms immediately after he woke, HIghness."

"Oh, so that's why you took on Grimes' duties."

"Precisely."

"Do you think it worked?" Jim asked as they pushed through the doors.

"A rhino could not have slept on that assortment, Highness."

Jim stumbled and quickly caught himself, but the whole room had turned when he entered and everyone, including Bones, saw him trip. "Assortment?" he mumbled at Spock.

"It seems you and I were not the only ones with the same idea."

Scotty shrugged and Hikaru smiled. Jim couldn't help the warm feeling his friends engendered. "I'm a lucky bastard," he muttered when he caught sight of Bones and his pace quickened.

"Mother!" he greeted, kissing her cheek.

"Sam! Aurelan!" Jim said, kissing Aurelan as well.

"Good morning, Jim. I was wondering if I needed to send out a search party," Pike said, his eyes twinkling and voice fond.

"I'm not that late," Jim replied. "You don't even have coffee yet."

He settled into the empty chair between Bones and Pike. "Good morning, Bones. How did you sleep?" No sense beating around the bush.

Bones head was bowed over a mug clutched tightly between his hands. He took an incautiously large swallow before meeting Jim's eyes. "You look good, Jim. That sweater fits you right fine."

It was then that Jim noticed that Bones had dark circles under his eyes and was sitting stiffly. "You okay?"

Bones took another large swallow of coffee before shaking his head. "I'm sorry, kid. No. I barely slept a wink last night. I don't know what kind of animal's feather you used in those mattresses, but that was the most uncomfortable bed I have ever slept in!" Jim recognized that Bones was gearing up for a rant. "I'm black and blue this morning like a rampaging horse trampled me in my sleep. It's terrible!"

When Bones took a breath, Jim just grinned and, tossing propriety to the wind, leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth. It was a very effective way to shut him up.

The cheer that arose from the dining table made Jim's face heat and he ducked his head, but reached for Bones' hand under the table where Bones gripped back. His knuckles were white, but he had a faint smile on his lips.

Winona tapped her tea cup with a spoon and cleared her throat silencing the uproar. "Well, with that out of the way, I believe we have a wedding to plan, don't you agree, Councilor?"

Another shout went up around the table drowning out the reply. Jim didn't care what had been said, he was focused on Bones. "Did you mean it, Bones? What you said?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Bones looked up and met Jim's eyes, his own a deep verdant green filled with an emotion that Jim was afraid to trust. But Bones had seen through Jim from the very first. He replied, voice confident and unwavering, "Yeah, sugar. I want to marry you. The place just weren't worth fighting for once you left."

"But, what about--"

"Hush, kid. Trust me on this. Jocelyn and that usurper Clay are welcome to it. Ain't no throne or castle worth ruling without you."

Jim felt himself flush bright red and his smile was so wide, it had to border on goofy.

Bones just chuckled and leant forward, kissing Jim firmly, uncaring of the cat calls.

~~*~~

"Highness, if you do not hurry--"

Jim cut Spock off with a wave. "Don't worry, Spock. I'm not going to be late for my own wedding." But his fingers fumbled the last few buttons. Why did his coat have so many buttons?

Spock pushed Jim's hands aside and efficiently finished dressing Jim just as Hikaru stuck his head in the door. "Jim! They're asking for you!"

Jim took a deep breath and settled. This is what he'd wanted for so long. He might not feel himself ready to take Winona's place, but now that he would have Bones at his side he was more confident that he wouldn't mess up too badly.

Scotty burst through the door. "Laddie! Hie to it! Else Gaila will have my balls!"

Jim laughed. "I think she already has them!"

"Och! Just go!" Scotty pushed Jim down the corridor toward the chapel.

Somehow despite all the missteps -- Jim fumbling the ring when Spock handed it to him, Bones repeating Jim's vows and then stuttering through his own, and even Pike tripped after he and Winona gave their blessing -- the ceremony was over quickly and suddenly, Jim found himself staring at Bones. He looked every bit the royal prince in his Georgian uniform, so upright, regal, perfect. Jim almost turned around and ran for the hills when he first glimpsed Bones waiting at the altar. This wasn't the man that stole Jim's heart while wearing stained overalls and a smudge of dirt on his cheek.

But, of course, Jim was being silly because when the cleric pronounced them married and Bones turned to Jim, that look in his eye, the mischievous twinkle and fond affection, was all _Jim's_ Bones, the healer that had stolen his heart. And the kiss that he swept Jim up and into proved it by making Jim's heart soar and his knees weak. It took the cleric clearing his throat three times before they broke apart, Bones unrepentant and giving the cheering crowd a rakish grin as they retreated down the aisle hand-in-hand.

It might have taken a dried pea (and a mace, a cactus, a porcupine, etc.) and a once in a lifetime storm to bring them together, but in the end they lived Happily Ever After.

The End


End file.
